Thursday, August 09, 2018

Acrimony

I remember watching "Acrimony" months ago with my friend, Enyo Afua when it was out in theatres, and I remember wondering if I’d had a conversation with Tyler Perry I’d forgotten about. The only difference between my life and “Acrimony” is the “M” in Melinda. See, I am “B”elinda; that’s just how similar “Acrimony” is to how I chose to live my life.

From Melinda trying to knock Robert down with her car (yeah unfortunately, Belinda did that too) to family opposing the whole union and washing their hands off (no, Belinda didn’t get the message then either), to losing all my life’s savings (my finances are in a 1001 messed up places), “Acrimony” is so close to home (way too close), I spent the whole time in the theatre with my mouth open. It wasn’t until weeks later that I told Enyo and and another friend, Dennis-Brook about it. See, the other thing is, I was too embarrassed to share my story with anyone (I pride myself in being really smart; how do I explain falling for what I fell for). I still feel pretty dumb for letting myself go through that (I so got to start loving me, cos I must really hate me to have let myself go through that).

Back to the car (I know I have to explain this one; I am now tagged a murderer and it’s sad because I know I couldn’t hurt a fly). Honestly, I don’t know where my head was at, I don’t know whether I was trying to kill, all I know is, it was too much, I couldn’t take it no more, the lies, the affairs, the abuse. I lost my mind for like 30secs. Thank God, the “B” in Belinda kicked in because unlike Melinda, I didn’t lose my womb, and thank God no-one died or got hurt, or I’d be writing this from prison.

Seems everyone has an opinion about the movie “Acrimony”, and I decided to write this after listening to it being discussed on radio.
My 2 cents.
To those saying Melinda was not patient and should have waited for Robert to make it, well that is your opinion, but do you realise the sacrifices she made, all she lost? How patient is one supposed to be? I was more than patient for 7 years, and I got abuse (there are many forms) and a truckload of ingratitude. Thank God I wised up, and left. Yes, me too I left.
To those saying Melinda’s sisters caused it, again, that is your opinion, but how do family who genuinely love you sit back and watch you throw your life away and do nothing?
To those saying the $10mil Robert gave Melinda after he made it big was not enough to compensate for all she lost because of him, that is your opinion, and you are entitled to it, but after I even went crying about how messed up my finances are, I was told, “I don’t owe you anything”, not even after I showed e-copies of bank transactions where I had transferred thousands of Ghana cedis. Melinda was fortunate. How many Ghanaian men will chop your money and give you back one pesewa? At least he added more than enough interest.

No, I won’t do what Melinda did in the end (for Christ sake, her plan ended up with her losing her life). The most I have done is check out for a bit, shut everyone out (it really is because I am ashamed), but (some would say God does have a sense of humour) I end up with a job where I am to be teaching others about new media. How do I do that if I choose to not have a social media presence? (I guess I could try, after all, there's people teaching ICT who don't own computers)

Now, to wade into the “Acrimony” debate, I have learned a couple of things from my own experience and from watching my life played out on the big screens, none of which have to do with patience for someone bent on ruining your life. To the patience argument I say, “if it hasn’t happened to you, sleep” (in Twi).

1.             Anger is the root of all evil; it only hurts you in the end. Melinda could have killed Robert and Diana. Thank God she didn't, but she lost the ability to get pregnant, and in the end, anger resulted in her losing her life. Because of anger, I could have ended someone's life. 

2.             Truthfulness, honesty, coming clean, is key in all relationships. Had Robert been truthful about who (Diana) was helping him push his battery, Melinda’s sisters might not have succeeded in convincing her that he was cheating. Never hide the truth, not even to protect the other person.

3.             Listen to family. They are able to view situations dispassionately especially when your emotions are involved.

4.             Do not be reckless with other people’s money. After Melinda paid Robert’s way through school, he could have got 2/3 jobs, made enough money to pay her back and use whatever is left to develop his battery rather than sit at home after school, jobless while Melinda worked 2 jobs to take care of them both. I saw my money being used for things I wouldn’t dare use it for.

5.             Greed is the second root of all evil. Melinda was greedy. She should have taken the $10mil and walked away. Robert was greedy, taking all he could from Melinda and expecting her to do what? Sit back and patiently endure and wait for his battery to hit? She’s only human.

6.             You are not God. Don't try to decide the fate of others. Why try to exact retribution? Why put that burden on yourself deciding who is wrong, how they should be punished, how much punishment they should get.
Feeling wronged? God is not dead. They will get their comeuppance. You will get what is due you. It’s not up to you to ensure that happens. Stay out of it (Joel 2:25-26).

7.             Fight for love (well, if it ain’t true, what’s the point). I feel Robert didn’t fight hard enough for Melinda. He just let her go way too easy when he knew very well that any other woman would have left long before Melinda did. I say now that I wised up and left, well truth is, I didn’t actually leave, it was more of threatening to leave if things didn’t get better. When I realised it didn’t work, I went back and was told I wasn’t wanted and that I have anger issues, and then I was sent a video of a woman whose boyfriend had poured acid on her. Well, maybe I do have anger issues, but why stay with someone who tried to kill you, travel out of Ghana twice with them on their ticket, take even more money from them, and only leave after they threaten to leave you?

Thanks to my dear friend, Andrew Tee Adote, no, you didn’t know about this bit, but you got me to share my story, and in thinking while writing this, I realise what Uncle Ebo Whyte says about “setting yourself up to fail” is so true (I just never understood how that's possible) because though I “wised up and left”, I’d say I either consciously get involved in worse situations, or even if I do end up in a good place, I sabotage it and make sure I can accuse someone of being bad. I don’t know, but, coming from where I'm coming from, at this point, it's hard to have faith in the goodness of the male homo sapien.

“Acrimony” may be a figment of Tyler Perry’s imagination, but some of us have lived through it, others have been through worse and others others have ended up in psychiatric hospitals or are dead.

No, there isn’t a billion dollar battery, but who knows? a lottery could be won. Fortunately, I have watched “Acrimony”, so no, I don’t want a part of it at all. If I get a cheque for 1pesewa, maybe I’ll take and go to my one corner and mind my own business. I made all that money, I’ll make it again.
God is not dead, He is surely alive!

It's taken 3 years for me to be able to talk about this (who knows, maybe I was waiting for Tyler Perry to release "Acrimony"), and if sharing is able to get just one woman to reassess her situation and advice herself accordingly, it would be so worth it.

No two situations are same, but I’d say after spending a thousand Ghana cedis, if you feel in your gut (we always do know, we just don’t acknowledge) that something's wrong, don’t wait till you’ve spent thousands.
RUN!!!

Monday, April 16, 2018

Kwaku Doe - The Comeback

It's been a little over 7 years since I started writing about Kwaku Doe. From first talking about him in my Plight of a Hungry Man series to finally naming him and continuing the series as Kwaku Doe, I'd say I've spent a little over 2 years writing about him. The last time I wrote anything on Kwaku Doe was in 2013.

The main reason I stopped is I changed the route I use to work, so I wasn't encountering him anymore. The other reason is I sort of lost interest in him.

Well, last Friday, I was driving when some guy with locks came to my car at this traffic light asking for money. I shook my head and was about to look away when I thought there was something familiar about the guy. He had locks and a goatee (almost all grey), but there was no mistaking this person.
KWAKU DOE!
And he was begging at a traffic light on the other side of town, far from where I used to see him.

So, if I started writing about him 7 years ago, my brother and I encountered him 4 years before I started writing about him, that means he has been begging for 11 years. Of course it would be well over 11 years (I'm sure the day my brother and I encountered him 11 years ago wasn't day 1 on the job for him).

There are people in Ghana who live solely on alms? Like forever? They never work? Able bodied people?

He was true to the Kwaku Doe I got to know 7 years ago though. His locks were neat, his goatee was well trimmed and shaped and as usual his clothes were tidy.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Making a Difference!

There's a certain quirkiness about me that could be cute or annoying depending on how you look at it, but bottom-line, it is downright frustrating (especially for me).
It is very frustrating when I won't leave the house unless I've laid my bed (regardless how late I am). It is very frustrating when I'm running late, but the hair brush is out of place and it just has to be in its place before I can leave. It is extremely frustrating when I walk by a mat (it could be anywhere; in my house, in someone's house, in my office, in someone's office, in a restaurant, at any random place) that's out of place and I just have to straighten it before I walk by. The few times I tell myself I'm being ridiculous (especially when the mat is in a place that's totally none of my business) and I walk on by, just when I'm about to go, "whoopee! I did it! I didn't do me", I turn around, walk back to the mat, straighten it, and slink away with an, 'oh-boy!-I-did-it-again' look on my face. Oh yes! I do get curious stares every now and then, but it's me! I explain it away to myself (and anyone who'll listen) as very (extremely very) mild OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I don't know about the disorder part, but I do know about the obsessive bit. And all that is not even half of it! I wash my hands minimum 30 times a day, I clean anything and every space I come in contact with before touching, breathing (seriously), and the list goes on and on. I won't get started on my use of hand sanitizers and disinfectant wipes. Suffice to say my room is so clean you could eat off the floor? But who does that (eat off the floor)? Sometimes, I do rebel and I'm the complete opposite of me! (not often enough though)

Sometime about 2 weeks ago, I was driving around James Town when my car started to overheat. I got off the main road and parked on this football-like field, got out of the car and got some sachets of water from a nearby shop. I opened the hood and waited for the engine to cool. I then opened the radiator and emptied the water into it. With each sachet I used, I folded and put the empty sachet next to the windshield of my car. The sachets were done but the radiator wasn't full. Realising I needed more water, I removed the empty sachets, and was about to place them inside my car so that I drop them into the bin at home (I didn't see one around), when I heard, "sister, sister". I looked up and saw 2 women sitting at the other end of the field. They were both motioning with their hands, pointing to the ground. I was confused and didn't get what they were saying. I walked over, and one said I should drop the empty sachets on the ground, that the kids would come for them. I do know some people collect used  plastic (especially empty water sachets) for the purposes of recycling (I believe they are paid for the plastic they turn in; the more plastic, the greater the payment), and I was willing to help, but I did not see how I could litter in the name of helping (or in the name of anything). I walked back to my car, picked up all the empty sachets, locked the car and handed them to one of the women. She thanked me and I moved to the shop to get more water. This time, the lady selling the water placed all the sachets I bought into a plastic bag.

I emptied the water into my radiator. When it started to overflow, I poured the rest into the coolant tank. I put the empty sachets into the plastic bag, and delivered the bag and its contents to the ladies. I noticed the lady still held on to the initial stash I'd given her. She took the bag and added the first batch of sachets to it, thanked me while I said goodbye and left. I got into my car and drove off noticing that the lady still had the plastic bag in her hand. I won't be surprised though if she dropped everything as soon as I was out of sight, but at least, she was a good citizen for about 10 minutes because of me (or maybe she didn't drop it all when I was out of sight; I like to believe in the goodness of people; maybe, in those 10 minutes, she got to understand the folly of littering).
Well, all I know is, that's how to make a difference (one empty sachet at a time); by putting up exemplar behaviours others can (have no choice but to) copy and make the world a better place!

Yeah, I almost die every harmattan; the dust!

Friday, January 12, 2018

Messing with God's Plan

There is a way which seemeth right onto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 14:12 KJV

I honestly don't know why there are times when a bright idea comes along, it's bright, but it can't be a good idea because carrying it out involves changing, touching, messing up something already in existence, something we had nothing to do with its creation, but it's a bright idea, so we go ahead with it.

I came into contact with (by my estimation), the most hideous woman ever yesterday. While she spoke to me, I looked everywhere but at her. The thing was, I'd got myself into a bit of a jam and she was offering help (which I so terribly needed), but because looking at her was so painful, I looked everywhere but at her, and if she was offended, well, next time she has a bright idea, she should think it through before carrying it out.

Rewind some 20, 15, 30 or maybe 40 years ago (her bright idea was so bad it makes figuring out when she had it that difficult), this woman, then a beautiful, young lady with a rich melanic skin; the kind that would make a curious child rub off on it and when the colour stayed put, they'd rub harder thinking whatever it was, was stuck too hard to the skin, and when it still wouldn't come off, the child would take a step back and look, really look, then and only then would they appreciate the beauty of what stood before them. Anyways, so this young woman had a light bulb moment. It was too much of a bother to have people go through the motions of wanting to rub off whatever they thought was on her skin, to finally stepping back and taking in the beauty, her beauty. She decided she'd just help them get to the appreciating her beauty quicker; who cares if they're acting like a curious child?

Fast forward some 20, 15, 30 or maybe 40 years later, and here I stood before this woman. A woman who looked 100 years old, but she spoke with such verve, I knew she couldn't be a day over 40. Her willingness to help made me understand that though there are bad people in this world, there also are good people and it behove me to find those good people, but I couldn't get past her partly cooked, partly overdone and mostly burnt skin to appreciate that she is a woman who didn't know me, but was going out of her way to assist. With a grimace, I mumbled a "thank you" and hurried along hoping and praying I never, ever saw something (someone) as ghastly looking as this woman.

When has bleaching ever been a good idea?

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Festival of Plays

This Christmas...

Roverman Productions Festival of Plays.



Featuring 5 of Ebo Whyte's finest plays.

Saturday, December 23, 2017 - Damaged Goods

Sunday, December 24, 2017 - Blackmail

Monday, December 25, 2017 - The Comeback

Monday, January 1, 2018 - Nicholas

Tuesday, January 2, 2018 - Everyone Has a Secret

4 plays from 2017 and 1 play from 2012 will show at the National Theatre on 23rd, 24th, 25th December, 1st & 2nd January at 4pm and 8pm  each day. Tickets can be purchased from Joy FM; Shell Shops at Airport, Dansoman, Sakaman, Achimota & Tema Comm. 11; Baatsona & Haatso Total; Quick and Fine Supermarket opposite UPSA; Goil Shops at 37, Mile 7 & Sakaman; Frankies, Osu; Kpogas, Odorkor at GH¢80.00 for a Single Ticket and GH¢300.00 for a Festival Pack.

Alternatively, tickets can be purchased via flexiPAY at a 10% Discount.
1. Search for flexiPAY on Google Play Store for Android and Apple App Store for IOS
2. Download and install flexiPAY
3. Signup with your details
4. Login and buy tickets using Mobile Money, Visa or MasterCARD

Hotline: 0505546010

This year, let's try this. Rather than the usual gift hampers filled mostly with consumables, which are consumed and long forgotten, how about getting a festival pack for loved ones, friends and clients? They'll thank you for it!
Whenever a line from any of the plays is remembered, you'll definitely come to mind!

I can't think of a better Christmas present than Roverman Productions Festival of Plays!

Saturday, November 25, 2017

NICHOLAS!

Roverman Productions in partnership with National Theatre & Joy FM presents:

NICHOLAS!



An Ebo Whyte play.

Who is he that escapes the fire, refuses to drown, learns to read after entering college and defeats death at the very beginning?
NICHOLAS!

James Ebo Whyte, tells the incredible story of one remarkable Ghanaian in a way that will have patrons gripping their seats in suspense, falling out of their seats with laughter and hiding under their seats in fear! Is that possible from watching one play?
Oh yes it is!

You will experience these emotions and more while watching NICHOLAS! at the National Theatre on 25th & 26th November, 2nd & 3rd December at 4pm and 8pm each day. Tickets can be purchased from Joy FM; Shell Shops at Airport, Dansoman, Sakaman, Achimota & Tema Comm. 11; Baatsona & Haatso Total; Quick and Fine Supermarket opposite UPSA; Goil Shops at 37, Mile 7 & Sakaman; Frankies, Osu; Kpogas, Odorkor at GH¢80.00.

When you were not supposed to be born, don't seem to be going anywhere in life, have been written off by everyone including yourself, is redemption even possible? How does a stark illiterate make it into and through college?

NICHOLAS!
True story!

Saturday, September 02, 2017

The ComeBack

Roverman Productions in partnership with National Theatre & Joy FM present:

The ComeBack



An Ebo Whyte Play.

Jojo, a seasoned international football player is forced into early retirement after a series of injuries render him unfit to continue playing for his football club in Italy. He comes back to Ghana knowing he has lost a lot, but also knowing he has so much waiting for him, or so he thought.

The house and the business, he had thought he had, all turned out to be non existent. But how? He had sent money to his brother to see to the establishment of all this. How could his brother have built his house and set up his business on a waterway or water road as Jojo refers to it, and also have built a house for himself and set up the very same business for himself? Resigned to accept his fate, thinking he had a girlfriend to lean on and start over with, well, that too was taken away from him by this same brother.

How does one come back, get back from such a betrayal?

Find out on 2nd, 3rd, 9th & 10th September, 2017 at the National Theatre, 4pm and 8pm each day. Tickets can be purchased from Joy FM; Shell Shops at Airport, Dansoman, Sakaman, Achimota & Tema Comm. 11; Baatsona & Haatso Total; Quick and Fine Supermarket opposite UPS; Goil Shops at 37, Mile 7 & Sakaman; Frankies, Osu; Kpogas, Odorkor at GH¢80.00.

Our elders have said a lot. As Africans, we pride ourselves and live our lives by what our elders have had to say. #thecomebackplay will enlighten us on so many other things our elders have said, which no one knows about except Jojo. He'll also tell us about how "God is a coffin" and how to "eat a plane on a flight".

There are no seat belts attached to the seats at the National Theatre. How unfortunate, because you will fall out of your seats! In addition to cracked ribs, you will walk away knowing there is another option, a better one aside revenge after a betrayal.

Acrimony

I remember watching "Acrimony" months ago with my friend, Enyo Afua when it was out in theatres, and I remember wondering if I’d ...