No, this post is not about Harry Potter.
There's this phrase used to describe Harry Potter in the books as, 'the boy who lived'. I thought it interesting. Little did I know years down the line after reading my first Harry Potter book, that phrase could be used to describe me.
Fast forward, November 2007 and I'm attacked by a robber. A robber drove up to me and tried to snatch my hand bag. That 'I-don't-even-know-how-to-describe-it', but possibly that penchant for bravado, could be stupidity too, you develop over the years after reading all the Enid Blyton books, Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew books and thinking you can do 0.000000000001 of what the heroes and heroines do kicked in, and I fought back. Stupidest thing I've done to date (that could have so got me killed). I didn't die. I walked away with minor bruises, my assailant, well, he wasn't so fortunate. He was killed. Not by me, but by a mob.
So now I like to walk around and think of myself as 'the girl who lived'. Well, I could have died, but I didn't, the guy who could have killed me rather died as a result of what he tried to do to me. Come to think of it, If I'd just given the guy my hand bag, he'd have
As 'the girl who lived', after so many years of thinking of myself that way, it makes sense that I should do something, make an impact, otherwise, what's the point? Harry Potter did a lot being 'the boy who lived'. He made it count by fighting evil. I'm so making my self conferred status of 'the girl who lived' count. I don't know what I'll do yet though. There are a number of possibilities; become president, save the world, feed the hungry - related to that, I'm giving my cake to the cleaner in my office right now and then I'll think up ways of making my existence count.
No, absolutely and unequivocally NO. He did not die because of your actions. He died because of his choice and his actions. He chose to rob you. He could have made a different choice. He assumed in his arrogance of poor decision making that it would be a snatch and run. Not everyone just give up their belongings. Each of us react differently to the same situation. Hind sight is 20/20. You cannot punish yourself for reacting to what was a very traumatic situation. In those moments of absolute terror none of us truly know how we would react. In the ideal safe scenario many make assumptions about what they would have done if this or that. Honey that's a damn lie, because it's a false hypothesis that is minus the real life reality. So don't you go down that path of self-recrimination, it's a slippery slope. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, if onlys are simple torture devises to the psyche.
ReplyDeleteAll praises to Allah/God that you survived. Do not question your response on the hypothesis that he would have simply walked away. Realistically you don't know that, could've known that at the time. I get that you're saddened that a man lost his life even if he put the course in action but that burden is not yours to carry. If you do then you miss the lesson in the experience that was there specifically for you.
Stay blessed
Live your life
Peace
Thanks Rhapsody. I needed to hear that.
DeleteI joke about it sometimes, but almost 10 years down the line, and there's still a little bit of, 'some guy died cos of you' in my head.
In the first place you could have sustained a more fatal injury just by holding on to your bag. Afterall your life is worth far more than the contents of your bag.
ReplyDeleteWhilst you need not blame yourself for what happened it is possible that the person who was killed by the mob action is not actually the person that robbed you. But the blame doesn't lie on you. It lies on the person who attempted to snatch your bag and caused you trauma and injury to your body.
That's true.
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