Thoughts are Things

What a man thinketh, so shall he be.
Think nothing good can come out of you, well, you will be nothing more than a failure.
Think you can't be anything but successful, trust me, nothing can hold you down.

It wasn't easy being a chubby kid and then the fat girl growing up. I hated it. What did I do? I tried all the unconventional ways of losing the weight, and then the conventional, and when I saw nothing was happening in less than a week, I told myself, "this won't work". I told myself "let me just pretend all the teasing doesn't bother me and live my life". So I did. It wasn't until 8 years ago when I checked my Body Mass Index (BMI) and it showed I was obese (I honestly always thought I was just overweight or fat) that I knew I had to do something. So, I decided, even it takes years, I am going to do this (the conventional way) and I am not going to quit until I like what I see when I look in the mirror. And then I did do it. It's been 7 plus years of me looking fabulous, and I haven't felt better.

After my first degree, I entered an educational reality TV show. I did get that it was for very smart people, and I didn't particularly think I was overly smart, but I decided to try it out. I told myself, "what do you have to lose, but you do have a whole lot to gain should you win". From the thousands that first entered the competition, I was there when we were cut to a little over a hundred. I was still there when we were cut to 25, and then when we were cut to the final 12, I was there. "Yes, I may not be as smart as some of the other contestants, but me too I am smart". That's what I told myself. Week 1 eviction, I stayed. Week 2 eviction, I stayed. Week 3 eviction, I stayed. Ei! I kept staying eviction after eviction. And then we were down to 7 contestants. Then one of the other contestants came up to me and said, "Dentaa, you are the one to watch. A friend called me and said no one is paying attention to you because you don't seem like the one, but you really are. You will catch all of us unaware and win this competition." That was when I started really thinking about what I was doing. That was when I started questioning myself and asking what I was thinking competing with some of the smartest brains in Ghana. That was when I told myself there's no way I can win this. That was when I asked myself what I was thinking entering this competition. That was the week I got evicted.

Thoughts are things. Things don't seem to be going well for you, check your thoughts.
Things are going well for you, keep thinking positive.

Yipee! It's My Birthday! - Look at Me...

Well, it's actually not my birthday today but I dint like lie, lie :( My birthday was last Friday (a week ago), February 15, a day after valentine's day (and boy do I have a lot to say about having my birthday a day after val's, but that of course will be another post). So, I turned 28 Yay! (and yes, I do have some grey hairs).

 

I am grateful to God for how far he has brought me, for all my many blessings (I'm sure I don't realise just how blessed I am), but most importantly, I am grateful for the gift of life.

"Father, I thank You. You have been so good to me, even when I don't deserve Your being good to me. I am so grateful for all my blessings and for those yet to come".

 

Since I am always on their (mobile phone companies) case, it is just fair that I say this as well.

The most surprising birthday present I received was from MTN. Yep, MTN sent me a text message wishing me a happy birthday, credited my account with free airtime, free text messages and free browsing data. Thank you MTN (I really wasn't expecting it. matter of fact, I wondered how you knew it was my birthday, but I guess you have that data from when I registered my SIM card. it is nice to know you actually care).

It doesn't really matter though that I couldn't use the browsing data you sent me since I am subscribed to the Blackberry service (I know you have that information) and before I could send more than 1 text message, all that you sent me expired (you dint inform me in the birthday text message that everything would expire in 3 days).

It is the thought that most importantly counts. Muchas gracias MTN :). Now, how about one of 'em jaguars you giving out? :D

 

All of my life, up until 5 years ago, I was overweight. I was a big baby, chubby toddler, fat kid and overweight (actually, my BMI calculation showed I was obese at my worst) young adult. I dint really quite understand it cos I (think) dint like eating too much. I learnt when I was a baby, my mum had to chase me around to feed me (now I have this terrible image of me running around in diapers with my mum right behind trying to breast feed me).

 

Of course for obvious reasons, I did all I thought I could to lose weight. Trust me, none of the obvious reasons had anything to do with wanting to be healthy. I just wanted to be normal (like most people). I just wanted the name calling to stop. Jeez! It's so hard being a fat kid! Let's see, I was called "obolo", "obolobo", "obolosonic", "bufloat" (I don't even know if that's the correct spelling. it's supposed to be puff loaf or something) and bread fallen in water (in Twi), all of these were to my face. I found out later I was called football (some friends of mine told me that was what some of the guys in school called me behind my back). Why football? Cos, I'm not really a tall person (matter of fact, I'm short), plus being big made me look short and rounded like a football (that's the explanation I got), hence the name.

 

Now, I became this really mean person. So, I would lash out at people before they even had the opportunity to make fun of me (I should have read psychology. I seem to have a clear understanding of defense mechanisms).

Anyways, being mean of course ensures if you do have friends, they won't be many. So, at the point in my life when I realised people dint like me too much (and it actually mattered to me), I just went on ahead and became a "people pleaser" (learnt that phrase on Oprah). I would do any and everything (most of which involved me going way out of my way) just to get people to like me. That of course was tiring, so I knew the best solution was to lose the extra weight. What did I do? I starved myself (but that really dint go beyond 2 days before I would give up), I worked out (but after 4 days, when I dint see the weight go, I'd quit) and I alternated between the two (starving & working out), but that would last about a week and of course I dint see any improvements, so I'd quit.

When I was in JSS (now junior high) I actually got one of my few friends to buy weight loss tea in a drug store for me. I told her it was for one of my neighbours, and I couldn't go in and get it cos the attendant in the shop might think it was for me (since I was big), and might not sell it to me cos I was too young, but since she was skinny, the attendant would sell to her (if you read this dear friend, I'm sorry I lied. at least now you know the truth). It really was for me :( I drank it all up religiously but unfortunately, there was no change.

I disliked taking pictures and even if I did, I'd either stand behind someone in a group photo (which really was difficult since I was and still am the shortest most of the time), or I'd just sit if I was alone.

Me in 2007 (seems I'd lost some weight) Only pix from then I could find

 Sitting dint really hide the folds (tried using my hands to cover my tummy. it looked awkward doing that while standing).
Well, at a point, I convinced myself that I was "big boned", (another phrase I picked up from Oprah), so then there really was nothing I could do about the extra weight, and I was just going to be big forever.

Sometime during my national service (which interestingly enough I did in the dietherapy department of a hospital), I decided enough was enough. I decided I would live healthy, be healthy and stay healthy, whether I lost weight or not. So, I worked out everyday, watched my diet, and the pounds just fell off.
Initially, I dint realise it myself until people started pointing it out to me and my clothes seemed too big on me. Thing is, I wasn't too obsessed about losing weight so I wasn't weighing myself everyday and giving up when there was no improvement after a few days.
I remember there was this time I went to town with my mum and bought 2 pairs of trousers. I dint try them on, convinced they would fit. I got home, tried them on, and one wouldn't go beyond my hips and the other couldn't be buttoned after making it past my hips. My mum offered to take them back but I declined. I said to her, "I'll keep them, lose weight and fit in them" (even I did not believe that was possible).
After all the "wow, you've lost weight" comments, I just had to try on the trousers, and they more than fit :D

Yep, I lost weight but it hasn't been easy maintaining my weight loss. I stopped workig out, went back to eating junk, gained some weight back, but I managed to lose it again.
Right now, I'm just maintaining the staying healthy bit and thank God it's working for me. I'm 28 years and liking what I see when I look in the mirror ;)



Me, on my 28th birthday

Why did I put up a picture of me sitting?
Now, I can comfortably stand and take pictures :D

Me, at the end of 2012

That's more like it! I actually love taking pictures now.

To all those that ever made fun of me or had a name for me when I was growing up, all I got to say is "IN YOUR FACE!" :p