20 Additional Quirky Quotes!

I quit the game (more like I lost too many lives), but decided to play again and again and again till I completed (what can I say, I'm determined like that and perseverance generates success).
My determination to complete the game had me coming across additional quotes, which I've put together here.

1. Never mess an apology with an excuse.
2. Sometimes thought and planning are the way to go (especially early on).
3. Sometimes speed is the way to win (especially later on).
4. A shortcut is the longest path between two points.
5. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
6.You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
7. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
8. Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence.
9. If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use looking like a fool.
10. Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't, why you should.
11. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
12. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
13. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
14. Everything takes longer than you think it will.
15. Never test the depth of water with both feet.
16. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it bothers the pig.
17. If you look like your passport photo you're not well enough to travel.
18. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
19. How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
20.Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Still hilarious, still not sure if I'm learning anything worthwhile though, or if I'm just trying to teach a pig to sing.